Why Stop Contact
            With a Narcissist?

                                              www.lightshouse.org Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

In a way, I feel bad for my narcissistic mother. Her brain is so broken her maternal instinct, one of the most powerful innate forces in a human being, doesn't even work! I mean, think about how profoundly something has to be wrong with the brain that this OVERWHELMINGLY POWERFUL instinctual drive, which is perhaps the very strongest thing supporting humanity, does not work.

And, yes, narcissists do have real feelings (far too many, in fact, with only one exception - empathy). But you don't stop contact with a narcissist because they supposedly lack feelings.

     You stop contact because narcissists will always hurt you.

You stop contact with a narcissist because they lie to you, they manipulate you, they control you, they blame you, they trick you, they humiliate you, they ignore you, they belittle you, they squelch you, they rage at you, they dump you, they intimidate you, they hate you, they seek revenge on you, they castigate you, they bully you, they blackmail you, they push you, they talk trash about you, they emotionally abuse you, they discourage you, they undermine you, they backstab you, they betray you, they have disdain for you, they condescend to you, they judge and criticize you, they resent you, they are jealous of you, they put you down, they double-cross you, and they feed on your pain,
and they view others merely as either a tool to get what they want or an impediment to their goals.

You don't stop contact with a narcissist because they lack feeling. They don't lack feelings at all. They have HUGE
feelings. "Waah, waah, boo-hoo, you victimized me when you suggested I listen to others, so you're now my abuser who I hate, and you're gonna pay, because I'm your victim - how dare you ask me to actually care! How dare you imply that I'm not perfect!!! You can go right straight to hell, you abusive so and so, and now I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make you hurt!!!" ...Lots of feelings there.  

Just none for you.

You stop contact because this person will always hurt you, and you have a right to protect yourself from emotional abuse. Not because he or she supposedly doesn't feel. They do, and they will tell you ALL about all those feelings.

Of theirs.


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