Comments on: Why Are Most Judgmental, Critical People So Critical and Judgmental? http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people A Blog About Toxic and Non-Toxic People Sun, 02 Dec 2012 18:30:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Light http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-6722 Light Sat, 24 Nov 2012 04:59:27 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-6722 Hi Kerry That's really atrocious. Sorry to hear that. If you're looking for the information on NPD parents, it's all here: http://www.lightshouse.org/cluster-b-support.html But no matter how you slice it, that's a <em>terrible</em> mother. Ugghh. Hi Kerry

That’s really atrocious. Sorry to hear that. If you’re looking for the information on NPD parents, it’s all here: http://www.lightshouse.org/cluster-b-support.html

But no matter how you slice it, that’s a terrible mother. Ugghh.

]]> By: kerry http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-6708 kerry Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:38:25 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-6708 i can relate to every comment . would this classify as a narccistic mother? . at 20 i was talked into modeling a very scimpy nightie for my uncle , although it was completely my mums idea , she made it look if it was mine . at the time this had happened i was very depressed and had contemplated suicide .you might ask how does any one talk a twenty year old in too doing something she does not want to do , all i can say is that i was a very placid docile and unasertive. i remember my sisters wedding all my mother did was complain about the grooms family and had no interest apart from how she was going to show every one up i can relate to every comment . would this classify as a narccistic mother? . at 20 i was talked into modeling a very scimpy nightie for my uncle , although it was completely my mums idea , she made it look if it was mine . at the time this had happened i was very depressed and had contemplated suicide .you might ask how does any one talk a twenty year old in too doing something she does not want to do , all i can say is that i was a very placid docile and unasertive. i remember my sisters wedding all my mother did was complain about the grooms family and had no interest apart from how she was going to show every one up

]]> By: Light http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-6641 Light Tue, 20 Nov 2012 03:46:13 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-6641 You're very welcome. You're absolutely right about the fact that you'll never be good enough. Unfortunately, people like this don't just wake up one day and realize they've been astoundingly wrong about everyone and horrible to them. If you haven't hopped over to the cluster B disorders page, you might find her there. It's here: http://www.lightshouse.org/cluster-b-support.html You’re very welcome. You’re absolutely right about the fact that you’ll never be good enough. Unfortunately, people like this don’t just wake up one day and realize they’ve been astoundingly wrong about everyone and horrible to them. If you haven’t hopped over to the cluster B disorders page, you might find her there. It’s here: http://www.lightshouse.org/cluster-b-support.html

]]> By: Poppy http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-6621 Poppy Mon, 19 Nov 2012 05:32:55 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-6621 My Mother just left from her annual visit to my home. From the moment she wakes up until bedtime, she is criticizing anyone and everyone including my older brother and sister and their kids. She has been divorced from my Dad for over 35 years. I left home and moved in with my Dad at 14 because I couldn't take her cutting me down all of the time. I know after she left my home today, she is going to call my brother and sister and talk about how messy my house is (it's not a messy house but it's not in perfect order like hers ). She will make comments about my children who are great kids but she will find something negative about them. I am a vegetarian and run 3 miles a day so I am very healthy. But, when she came to visit, my blood pressure shot up ( I don't have high blood pressure) and my face started twitching and I felt overwhelming anxiety. After reading this article, I realized she was the cause of my high blood pressure. She wants to take a vacation to New York in April and I honestly don't know if I can. Like my Dad, I am an optimist and love to embrace different people, things, etc. I know she is unhappy and try to understand and not take it personal. But knowing she is cutting me and my children down to my brother and sister and God knows who else, it's so frustrating. This is my Mom, the person who I should look up to and who should support me and love me for who I am. My kids and I will never be good enough....or my sister and brother or their kids. Fortunately my brother and sister and I all agree that we know what she does. Thank you for letting me share my story. and thank you for this valuable piece of information you've posted. My Mother just left from her annual visit to my home. From the moment she wakes up until bedtime, she is criticizing anyone and everyone including my older brother and sister and their kids. She has been divorced from my Dad for over 35 years. I left home and moved in with my Dad at 14 because I couldn’t take her cutting me down all of the time.

I know after she left my home today, she is going to call my brother and sister and talk about how messy my house is (it’s not a messy house but it’s not in perfect order like hers ). She will make comments about my children who are great kids but she will find something negative about them.
I am a vegetarian and run 3 miles a day so I am very healthy. But, when she came to visit, my blood pressure shot up ( I don’t have high blood pressure) and my face started twitching and I felt overwhelming anxiety. After reading this article, I realized she was the cause of my high blood pressure.
She wants to take a vacation to New York in April and I honestly don’t know if I can.
Like my Dad, I am an optimist and love to embrace different people, things, etc.

I know she is unhappy and try to understand and not take it personal. But knowing she is cutting me and my children down to my brother and sister and God knows who else, it’s so frustrating. This is my Mom, the person who I should look up to and who should support me and love me for who I am. My kids and I will never be good enough….or my sister and brother or their kids. Fortunately my brother and sister and I all agree that we know what she does.
Thank you for letting me share my story. and thank you for this valuable piece of information you’ve posted.

]]> By: Light http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-5829 Light Tue, 16 Oct 2012 03:39:50 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-5829 My top recommendation for stuff l8ke that is therapy. GOOD therapy, with a GOOD therapist. Helps a lot! My top recommendation for stuff l8ke that is therapy. GOOD therapy, with a GOOD therapist. Helps a lot!

]]> By: nicholas http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-5480 nicholas Wed, 26 Sep 2012 20:45:29 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-5480 aliens should come down to earth and kill these guys hahahah aliens should come down to earth and kill these guys hahahah

]]> By: Karen http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-4782 Karen Thu, 09 Aug 2012 04:28:43 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-4782 Im on a roller coaster ride from hell! Husband who normal most of the time, of course don't cross him. But if we have a disagreement and I try to have a calm conversation he blows up, cusses me out and has even made comments of my head being blown off. Not sure what I'm dealing with, or rather don't want to admit it. I've been told that what he does is a classic case of projection. Also told he hates himself by councelor. And my Dr. says he s a narcisst. He's very successful in business but never content and criticizes almost everyone. I'm so dead in my feelings! I grew up with a very loving mother who always praised us. Where are all the happy people! I can't take all this negative energy. It's making me physically I'll. HELP PLEASE! Im on a roller coaster ride from hell! Husband who normal most of the time, of course don’t cross him. But if we have a disagreement and I try to have a calm conversation he blows up, cusses me out and has even made comments of my head being blown off. Not sure what I’m dealing with, or rather don’t want to admit it. I’ve been told that what he does is a classic case of projection. Also told he hates himself by councelor. And my Dr. says he s a narcisst. He’s very successful in business but never content and criticizes almost everyone. I’m so dead in my feelings! I grew up with a very loving mother who always praised us. Where are all the happy people! I can’t take all this negative energy. It’s making me physically I’ll. HELP PLEASE!

]]> By: Light http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-3442 Light Sun, 06 May 2012 03:02:09 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-3442 That's fantastic news, Annie! Glad to have helped, and sounds like you're getting the hang of listening to your feelings. (They sure don't lie.) That’s fantastic news, Annie! Glad to have helped, and sounds like you’re getting the hang of listening to your feelings. (They sure don’t lie.)

]]> By: Annie http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-3421 Annie Fri, 04 May 2012 04:45:02 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-3421 Thank you so much Light, your website has helped me to recognize just what sort of hell I have lived through all my life. I'm the Scapegoat of my family, and the only reason I have not killed myself is that I have someone who has loved me all of my adult life. He's the one who said he knew I was the kindest and best person he ever met. He helped me so much that I began to see myself as a strong and capable person over time. Without his help I would never have put myself through College or done anything with my life. I have removed myself from the influence of my family, and cut off contact completely. They continue emailing me, and I've set up blocks. My phone blocks them as well. I have never been happier or more content. I have never felt so free of pain and sadness. I wish I had understood their dysfunction many years ago. But, better late than never. Thank you so much for your insight and your information and your practical advice. It means a great deal to me to see things for what they really are and to stop pretending my family is 'normal'. Because they are not normal, three are alcoholics and two have great difficulty controlling their rages. Everything has been my fault from birth, and it never made sense to me that I would begin vomiting a week before I had to visit a family member. It took awhile because I never associated the two, but my physical reaction and the visit were intimately connected. It will never happen again and I am on that road to find out who I really am. :) Thank you so much Light, your website has helped me to recognize just what sort of hell I have lived through all my life. I’m the Scapegoat of my family, and the only reason I have not killed myself is that I have someone who has loved me all of my adult life. He’s the one who said he knew I was the kindest and best person he ever met. He helped me so much that I began to see myself as a strong and capable person over time. Without his help I would never have put myself through College or done anything with my life.
I have removed myself from the influence of my family, and cut off contact completely. They continue emailing me, and I’ve set up blocks. My phone blocks them as well. I have never been happier or more content. I have never felt so free of pain and sadness. I wish I had understood their dysfunction many years ago. But, better late than never.

Thank you so much for your insight and your information and your practical advice. It means a great deal to me to see things for what they really are and to stop pretending my family is ‘normal’. Because they are not normal, three are alcoholics and two have great difficulty controlling their rages. Everything has been my fault from birth, and it never made sense to me that I would begin vomiting a week before I had to visit a family member. It took awhile because I never associated the two, but my physical reaction and the visit were intimately connected. It will never happen again and I am on that road to find out who I really am. :)

]]> By: Light http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-1793 Light Sun, 22 Jan 2012 21:50:48 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-1793 I'll happily accept any chili slaved over for 3 hours without complaint! Give them Campbell's next time; they don't deserve good chili, and what's more, you know they'll complain no matter what you give them anyhow, so hey, pick up some Chef Boyardee or something and save the nicest food for nice people. I’ll happily accept any chili slaved over for 3 hours without complaint! Give them Campbell’s next time; they don’t deserve good chili, and what’s more, you know they’ll complain no matter what you give them anyhow, so hey, pick up some Chef Boyardee or something and save the nicest food for nice people.

]]> By: Kim http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-1168 Kim Thu, 22 Dec 2011 23:16:02 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-1168 I have narcissistic in laws who know no boundaries. They would walk into my home when my mother was dying of cancer at the time, and they'd have the audacity to walk around and complain about everything that wasn't up to their standards. My house wasn't organized or clean enough. As if spending time worrying about and tending to material things are more important than spending time with a dying loved one. It absolutely blew my mind. I never met people like this in my life. No regard for anyone else, no empathy for the fact that my mother was dying. I made a pot of chili for my grandmother in law - the matriarch narcissist - as I know this is her favorite dish. It's a homemade recipe that takes me about 3 hours to make. Instead of thanking me, she went on for two years complaining that it didn't have enough sauce, although I had already explained to her several times that I had extra meat I didn't want to go to waste so I added it to the recipe. I've never met such ungrateful people in my life before I married into a family of narcissists. But boy, don't ever tell them what they do isn't perfect unless you want the wrath. They'll initiate a smear campaign. Dysfunction at its best. I have narcissistic in laws who know no boundaries.

They would walk into my home when my mother was dying of cancer at the time, and they’d have the audacity to walk around and complain about everything that wasn’t up to their standards. My house wasn’t organized or clean enough. As if spending time worrying about and tending to material things are more important than spending time with a dying loved one. It absolutely blew my mind. I never met people like this in my life. No regard for anyone else, no empathy for the fact that my mother was dying.

I made a pot of chili for my grandmother in law – the matriarch narcissist – as I know this is her favorite dish. It’s a homemade recipe that takes me about 3 hours to make. Instead of thanking me, she went on for two years complaining that it didn’t have enough sauce, although I had already explained to her several times that I had extra meat I didn’t want to go to waste so I added it to the recipe. I’ve never met such ungrateful people in my life before I married into a family of narcissists.

But boy, don’t ever tell them what they do isn’t perfect unless you want the wrath. They’ll initiate a smear campaign. Dysfunction at its best.

]]> By: Light http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-70 Light Fri, 30 Sep 2011 04:06:16 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-70 Hi Jean, and thanks so much for the kind words. I'm glad you've found the site a help, and even gladder that you're (as you said so well) rebuilding! Fantastic... Let me know if there's a subject you can't find or that you'd like to suggest -- and just keep disregarding that Hoovering. If they <em>really</em> cared about their relationship with you, they'd be making a <em>genuine</em> effort to address things and not just Hoovering. Much Appreciated! Light Hi Jean, and thanks so much for the kind words. I’m glad you’ve found the site a help, and even gladder that you’re (as you said so well) rebuilding! Fantastic… Let me know if there’s a subject you can’t find or that you’d like to suggest — and just keep disregarding that Hoovering. If they really cared about their relationship with you, they’d be making a genuine effort to address things and not just Hoovering.

Much Appreciated!
Light

]]> By: Jean http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/judgmental-critical-people#comment-68 Jean Thu, 29 Sep 2011 20:51:51 +0000 http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/?p=1302#comment-68 Thank you so much for providing such helpful, life-saving information. I suspect I have a mother with NPD and a very enabling and possibly alcoholic father. I have been the family scapegoat all my life. The treatment I have suffered at the hands of my 'family' (one older brother, the golden child, and one younger sister, also a golden child) has been dreadful and has lead to me having abusive relationships at work and in my personal life. I have thankfully, finally, turned a corner and your website has helped me more than you will ever know. I have gone no contact although I am presently the subject of hoovering by my abusive parents. People like me desperately need the help contained in your website to help re-build their lives. Thank you! Thank you so much for providing such helpful, life-saving information. I suspect I have a mother with NPD and a very enabling and possibly alcoholic father. I have been the family scapegoat all my life. The treatment I have suffered at the hands of my ‘family’ (one older brother, the golden child, and one younger sister, also a golden child) has been dreadful and has lead to me having abusive relationships at work and in my personal life. I have thankfully, finally, turned a corner and your website has helped me more than you will ever know. I have gone no contact although I am presently the subject of hoovering by my abusive parents. People like me desperately need the help contained in your website to help re-build their lives. Thank you!

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