Anxious or Inflexible Parents
These parents are unreasonably concerned and very draining.
They are anxious and can be
very difficult to make happy. Many are needy or exacting.
They are anxious and can be
very difficult to make happy. Many are needy or exacting.
These parents come in three different varieties - needy parents, uptight parents and insecure parents. In general, parents in these groups are overly-concerned about what should be minor matters. Their expectations of themselves, others, and the world around them are unrealistic and tiresome.
Children of these parents are taught that nothing is ever adequate enough, certain enough or simple enough. These parents do not take things lightly. They need to feel in control of their environment. On a deep level, the world is an uncertain place in their minds, and they can never really relax.
Some of these parents are insecure and socially fearful, some others are controlling and impossible to satisfy, and some are highly needy and clingy; however, underneath it all, each of these types of parents is highly anxious in one way or another.
Many turn to external structure, control of environment and others, and rules-based systems to deal with their insecurities and need for perfection and/or certainty. The resulting demands and unreasonability leads to a high level of family dysfunction. Many of these parents make constant attempts to regulate their environment and their experiences. (Some narcissists also make controlling parents; however, their motivation is different -- the controlling narcissistic parent's goal is power over others for the satisfaction of their EGO. More about Narcissistic parents here.)
Many turn to external structure, control of environment and others, and rules-based systems to deal with their insecurities and need for perfection and/or certainty. The resulting demands and unreasonability leads to a high level of family dysfunction. Many of these parents make constant attempts to regulate their environment and their experiences. (Some narcissists also make controlling parents; however, their motivation is different -- the controlling narcissistic parent's goal is power over others for the satisfaction of their EGO. More about Narcissistic parents here.)
In the anxious or inflexible parent's world, someone, in some way, must go above and beyond normal expectations in attempts to make their happiness possible, and yet this never truly fixes the problem.
For specific information on each of the 3 different types of parents described above, click the portal below.
Portal to Light's House
Cluster C Support Pages
